Tuesday, October 14, 2014

The Top Chef Pool is BACK! You in?

COUNTOWN POOLAHS!
And, this season, when I say "poo-lahs" I mean it cause Top Chef is in Boston, yo!

I'm so excited!

I've been away from this so long!

I have SO much to say about everything!

Like- it's been a while since I cracked open Blogspot.
(With the emphasis on cracked.)
It's like a time capsule.
Not only of Reality Pool History but of archaic interfaces and shit graphics.
This STILL looks like Fred Flintstone chiseled it down at the quarry?
Jesus, Google. Do you realize that Mark Zuckerberg not only bought a house for he and his bride but the four houses surrounding it for privacy?


See he's not trying to do the 25 mill one house and some land deal, he's just buying entire neighborhoods.

Meanwhile the blogspot logo looks like a number 8 that got punched in the face.


Come on Google! TRY, for Buddha's Sake!

Alas, I'm not here to debase giant companies that you can no longer telephone when you're disgruntled and should generally be worried about because they're probably watching and filming you pee.

I'm here to ask you if you're ready to take part in the time honored tradition of
choosing,
paying,
watching,
reading,
laughing,
complaining,
gambling,
and possibly winning.
Sure it sounds like marriage but with all the reading you'll be doing it'll last longer.
BURN!
It's the TOP CHEF POOL, YO!

Need I remind you of the drill?

You watch the first episode that airs on Bravo next Wednesday (October 16) at 10pm.

You pick two chefs to win it all.

You send me cheddar (twenty bucks) for your two picks BEFORE the next episode of Top Chef airs at 10pm on Wednesday October 22nd.

And that is that.

If you've played before why WOULDN'T you play again?!
Hell some of you participated in the shows this season! (Shout out to KK for calling me up!) Oh and yes, I will be making inquires of said participants so try to remember now. If you can't I will question your tapeworm.)

If you've never played and you live here why wouldn't you play for the first time?!
It's good clean American fun and a preamble to Question 3. You should vote YES on Question 3 btw, they tried to fool us by making it seem as if we're voting FOR the casinos with yes but we're really voting against them and everyone should because who wants to see me and My Mama playing slots at 2am after a Seagram's Cooler and tequila bender?
Don't answer that.

So get at me.

Forward this link to whomever you think might be interested in playing and let me know if you're in it to win it!*

BTW since I have your attention, look who plead guilty to a DUI while they were in Baltimore setting up a new restaurant.


Yup.
That's Brian. Brian Voltaggio.
Not be confused with my former Chef Boyfriend also known as Brian's hotter, more Top Chef winning brother Michael Voltaggio featured here coming out of some kind of steam room or perhaps just a very cold fridge:



Or here, in this rarely seen Chef Boy Band Photo:


He looks like he's auditioning for the part of Channing Tatum's brother in STEP UP 2: THE STREETS!!!!


Or this one which is obviously a promo shot for the new CW show: CHEFZ



Oh wait! Duckface selfie?!


But this one, this one is classic. He looks just pissed off enough to make me want to make him less pissed off.

Yeeeeah.

Right.

Wait.
What were we talking about?
Whew fell down a Chef Boyfriend Hole there...so...YES!
The Pool.
GET AT ME!

Damn, I gotta take a shower...

*This phrase does not guarantee a win. All Rights Reserved. Member F.D.I.C.

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