Wednesday, November 7, 2012

You Still Have A Choice - The Top Chef Pool is back!

Tonight, more than seven months after Ellie, Meriden, Ed K., Brownie, GBG, Jet, Daisy, Nikki M. and Lucy picked Street Food and won the right to call themselves Top Chef Texas Pool Winnahs, the task of our next pool is at hand.

And so, to echo the words of someone else who won recently: We must, go forward!

Top Chef Seattle starts this evening on Bravo at 10pm!
Tonight, you will have the opportunity to watch the premiere episode!
Tonight, you will you will discover the contestants and claim two of them as your own! Tonight, you'll meet the contestants.
You'll witness their pride.
People like Stephanie Cmar from No. 9 Park who begs to have the nickname Cmar (sight unseen.) People like Anthony Gray, Executive Chef at Southern Art Bourbon Bar in Hotlanta which is really too long of a name for an establishment. Chefs like Micah Fields from the Standard Hotel in LA who looks like he might want to try to be my new boyfriend.
(Sorry, that role belongs to Street Foods, as soon as I dispose of his gf.)

Tonight, you'll meet the Executive Chef and Owner of Bacio in Vegas; the chef from Stir in the South End (!!!); you'll even discover a pastry chef who has entree dreams and, let's honest, will probably be the first one sent packing.
So now it's your turn.
Watch the show, do the research, make two selections and mail me 20 semolians for those chefs by next Wednesday at 9pm.
You can, once again, be what makes the Top Chef Pool great.
Whether you're participating for the first time or have participated in every single one; whether you actually watch the show when it airs or, like Q in Oregon, don't watch it at all.
You see, this Pool only works when you want to participate. So I am hopeful tonight. Because I've seen you participate in the past.
I've seen it in the illustrations on the envelopes of cheddar that arrive.
In the comments you make online.
In your willingness to read these long ass entries even though there's a Gilt sale.

Tonight, share this link, invite others, make your picks, and know in your heart:
the best is yet to come.
It comes with a promise to decipher what new judge and permanent Oscar night dinner wrangler, Wolfgang Puck is really saying (it's probably "Get your ass to Mars!")
It comes with a pledge to call it like it is whether Padma rocks a micro mini-skirt or returning judge Unibrow's brow crawls down from his forehead to mate with his upper lip.
It comes with a guarantee to says what's what, whether that what is Gail's choice of wardrobe-
(Hi Gail's breasts!) or what returning judge Emeril eats when he's not judging.
(It's cornstarch and water! He loves it!)

Some may ask why I would make such promises.
Why do I do this?
What do I get out of it?
Other than minimal sleep once a week; a hot lap from forgetting to put a book under my craptop while I type and, with all the pausing and rewinding, burning through remote control batteries like a salesperson who stocks the demonstration models at Good Vibrations. Well, I do it for you.
To hear your gasp when Heather B.'s jaw unhinges-
to hear you laugh when Sarah Smile gets what she deserves-
to feel you cringe when the Accessory Chefs get close and the truth is revealed-
I do it because this show inspires us. It inspires us to cook. It inspires us to watch. But most, important, it inspire us all to talk shit about the chefs who chose to be on a reality show.
So watch, pick, mail and know that there will always be a Top Chef Pool as long as there's you.
Thank you.
Thank Bravo.
And thank NBC Universal Television.


  1. Now all is right in the world. Thank you, DeMane!!!

  2. thank you for running this again and every season. and thank you again for taking the time to write all these spectacular posts. and thank you most of all for that picture of Gail's boobs.